I’m committing to quit trying to rush through life - want to join me?

I know the internet world says that long form blogging is out. But for me, it’s never leaving. Welcome back to thoughts about life with Di! I want you to know that you’re reading this means the world to me. Even just a read, no likes,  no comments, just a moment of your time is so special to me. I hope these long form blogs can brighten your day even just a teensy bit. 

Okay, cheese fest over, welcome to the blog!

If you’ve been following me over on Instagram, you know that our time living in Italy is coming to close later this year. We’ve been in the process of finding out where our next home will be for the past few months. If you’re in the military world, you know what I’m talking about! If not, here is a little rundown. 

(Disclaimer, I’m speaking from my own experience in the fighter pilot community we live in with the Air Force. Some branches/professions may do things differently, but this is how it works for us!). 

When my husband was finishing his Basic Course training where he learned how to fly the F-16 we had the most control over our life that we ever will in this Air Force career. Do you want to know what that control was? A pair of dice. A freaking roll of dice! Essentially, the “Air Force people” in charge of re-allocating people from duty station to duty station give the Basic Course classes a list of what bases are available, and how many at each base. My husband’s class all got together, rolled some die, and whoever rolled the highest got to take their pick, then the next person, and so on. Long story short, we ended up in Italy through the roll of a die. 

Now, things are a little bit different and we have a lot less control (I’m laughing at how wild that even sounds!). He does his best at work, we make a list of places we’d prefer to go, and hope for the best. 

When I was graduating college, if you’d asked me where I wanted my life to be in 5 or so years I would have said married, in a home we love, in a city we’d like to grow our roots and stay a while (lol hi military, not gonna happen), maybe with a baby on the way.

Oh my lanta how that is not how things turned out! Even though that is still what I really want someday, I’m realizing how often I wish to rush through stages of life.

When making our list of duty stations we’d like to go to next, we were forced to decide between wanting to try to live this traditional, white picket fence home with a baby on the way-life (which is still incredibly appealing to me), or a very non-traditional/let’s experience this life of adventure to the fullest sort of life. 

We ended up putting a base that back when we were in B-Course was our very last choice as our first choice this time around. It’s a place where technically I’m not supposed to live with my husband for a year, only visit, he lives in a dorm room (and a very crappy one at that!), in a country we know not one ounce of the language (not even close), in a city that maybe isn’t very desirable, but the experience is nothing short of a once in a lifetime experience. 

We thought, when else are we going to have the opportunity to live in South Korea, or Japan? When else would we have the opportunity to travel to places in Asia like we would if we lived there? 

Essentially, the weighing of options is so tough. On one hand I do crave the white picket fence, the gorgeous home with a dog and a growing family, America, and all the conveniences that come along with it (I’m looking at you - target and good grocery stores). We grew up incredibly close with our families and the thought of 4-6 years away from them feels so heavy. I want the traditional life by my family and the adventurous life, not one or the other. My mom gave me great advice when I was talking through it with her. She said, you have to live your own life. The parents we miss, the nieces and nephews, the siblings, the cousins we miss are living their lives. We can’t put our own lives on hold just to be there for them living theirs. When else would we live in Asia, or Europe for such a good period of our lives? If we’re given the chance to try and live another adventure, in the scheme of life a few years just isn’t that long. Don’t try to rush to have that settled and picture-perfect life, it’ll always be waiting for you to create it eventually. 

All in all we decided on the happy medium placing a life of adventure, for a shorter than normal period of time, as our number one choice. 

Over the weeks (and weeks and weeks) of waiting, I realized how much I really do want that adventurous life still. Sure, it’s going to be a wild year full of obstacles I don’t quite understand yet, but if we put aside our desire to rush to the picture perfect life we’ve always imagined, we’ll miss out on opportunities that might be perfect for us right now. Opportunities we never imagined we’d even want. 

And I’ve started applying this to more areas of my life too. When it comes to my career, wanting to be a successful resource on the internet, wanting to make an impact, wanting to really feel like I’m successful, I neglect other more mundane blessings in every day life. Instead of feeling like I need to work, work, work harder, why not just enjoy a good book at night, allow myself to not feel stressed having a spontaneous lunch with a friend, or clean the house with a good playlist on. I often feel unrelatable on that aspect, feeling like I need to progress in a career aspect as opposed to keeping a clean home/hanging out with friends. I find that most people feel the opposite, but maybe one of you relate with me on this? 

The same goes for health and fitness. I find myself going so hard in my workouts or nutrition, only to feel like I’m a failure if I slip up, get hurt, or drink a little too much on vacation. I’m learning to embrace the season of life that I’m in, work toward my goals, but stop neglecting the blessings in the present moment. For example, I have big goals for my workouts right now, and a big part of that is nutrition. But I’m not going to only eat salad and never have a drink with my friends on vacation while living in Italy. See what I mean? Work toward what you want while embracing where you’re at. Not trying to rush to the finish line, and instead enjoying life in the process of getting there. 

So maybe you’ll join me in slowing down a bit. Ask yourself where hidden opportunities in every day might be. What peaceful blessings, grand adventures, or precious moments are you missing out on by trying to rush toward the things you want in the end? What are you not allowing yourself to indulge in now, while waiting for the end product you’ve always wanted? 

P.S., if you’re a military wife too, I’m not meaning that you can’t or shouldn’t want a more simple life in America if overseas is available to you. I’m also not alluding to the idea that we get to choose. I moreso mean what wonderful opportunities that might be meant for you are you overlooking in hopes to have your happy final destination? What are not not trying to go for? If we have to move so frequently anyways, why not shoot for the stars on a full and abundant life? On the other hand, when given a duty station we absolutely hate, why not look for what we could love in it and fully experience that piece of life we are meant to live? We did not get the B-Course base that we wanted, but we made incredible friends and memories in the middle of nowhere that I’ll always treasure. I truly believe that everything happens for a reason, but we often overlook some beautiful blessings we’re given. I know for me, it’s the difference between listening to my gut and following my intuition, and going for what I feel like I should want for my life.

I know not everyone is going to agree or relate to this, but I hope it inpsires even just one person to trust their intuition and live a vibrant and abundant life in the now, no matter the circumstances.

XO, Di