Everything Is Not What It Seems
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I don’t know why, and I can’t quite explain it, but I truly feel like God has a plan for me in sharing our life on the internet. To some people that sounds strange, even to me. For the past year I’ve done less and less “deep” or “real” type blogs, honestly for no real reason. Mostly because we had some incredible experiences this summer while we could which is when I started up blogging again after our big move, resulting in quite a few travel guides! And maybe it’s just because this has been truly one of the most wild years *ever*, for the world and personally. We moved across the globe for my husbands job with the promise of incredible travel opportunities. We moved to a new community where we knew hardly anyone, and across the ocean at that. Then fill in the cracks with everything else this historic year has brought, it's just been wild. I’m very much so a glass half full kind of girl, and I always will be. I think it’s a tremendous strength to have. But at the same time, it can often be….not a strength.
If you take a glance at my Instagram page, our life is pretty amazing. I feel so incredibly lucky to be living the life that we do. But like all things on Instagram, it doesn’t show the entire truth, it’s a highlight reel. With that bliss, adventure, and pinch me type moments come a fair share of difficulties.
This morning I was listening to a podcast with one of my favorite bloggers, Kathleen Barnes. She was talking about how she never wants her page to feel unrelatable, and I totally agree. Kathleen’s husband is in med school so they live a life pretty similar to a military family, moving frequently. I related to her so much in so many of the things she was saying. That’s exactly the type of space that I aspire to create. This blog and social media platform were created by the spark of inspiration that came with making huge life changes for me that I felt so passionately about I wanted to share with strangers. That is still what I want this to be today, of course. A quality platform in my eyes should be inspiring, joyful, unique, inspiring improvement in peoples’ lives in one way or another, and plain old up-lifting. This is exactly what I aim to bring on this blog and my instagram. But a quality platform doesn’t hold back from showing the hard parts too.
The reality is this year has brought incredibly high highs, and incredibly low lows. Even just writing this I feel guilty because there are millions of people who feel this way worse than I do. But the point is to be relatable right? Sometimes you just aren’t as happy as you think you should be, or have been, or want to be, and that’s okay. Those feelings are usually there for a reason, and my glass half full sort of perspective doesn’t like to give them any attention. I hope that you reading this feel a sense of belonging, you feel understood, or comforted in some way.
What I’m trying to say is that with this dream come true of moving to Italy, which I will always be grateful and focus on the positives, these big changes have brought some pain as welll. My family have always been my best friends. I’ve always loved hanging out with them. Now I sort of feel like their life is going on without me. I’ve felt myself second guessing so many things I’m doing or saying with the fear of being judged in real life and on the internet. Bloggers and influencers often have a horrible stigma about them, yet that’s what I love to be right now. Social situations have been hard for me like I’ve never quite felt before. I feel like our dream of traveling to a new country every month has been unfairly taken away from us. I’ve been taken out o fly comfort zone and not always handling it the way I wish I was. Lately, I’ve just been really, really, really hard on myself.
I know that these are very tiny “problems” and so many have it much worse than me. These feelings of negativity come in waves, and I’m so grateful when I’m in a positive period. I’m so grateful for what we have. But listening to that podcast this morning and feel so heard was exactly what I needed today. I’m hoping that you reading this are receiving exactly what you need today.
Like I said, I’m a glass half full kind of girl, and that's what I choose to focus on. So that’s what the majority of my content is and will be. But I’m also a human, and no one’s life is all rainbows and butterflies. Sharing in the good and the bad is what makes community and it’s what makes relationships so special. I sort of wrote about this a couple months back in my post “what if,” and it felt so good to write about.
For the month of December I really wanted all of my blogs to have a resounding theme of “joy.” At first glace this one isn’t quite that. BUT I beg to differ.
It’s so cliche to say, but going through the hard is what makes the good times better, right?
So maybe in this last month of the year if we acknowledge all of the hard that we’ve all gone through, and are still going through, it will make the joyful parts of the Christmas season that much more special and enjoyable. Christmas is surely looking different for most of us, but Christmas is never changing regardless of external circumstances. What do you think?
Me being me, I’m going to end this on a positive and inspiring note for you and for myself. It’s important to let those negative feelings be heard, but at the end of the day there is always something to be grateful for. I’m going to end this with a gratitude list of my own, and maybe you can do that as well in a journal or a notebook!
I am so grateful for:
The amount of growth and depth our marriage has taken this year
My childlike soul of a husband, always keeping me laughing and playful
Italy...duh!
My family and all of the upbringing I was so lucky to have
The opportunity to meet and form relationships with so many different amazing people
Cooking...there’s just something cathartic about it
Matcha, my love!
How happy putting on makeup and a cute outfit can make me!
This blog, social media, and how much inspiration I find from it and hope to inspire as well
The thought that the rona will someday soon be gone and the travels can begin again, and we can finally see our family
My devotional and morning routine
Trashy reality TV
Having access to high quality food
Our growing wine collection
Facetime
And honestly so so much more.
Next time you’re feeling a little hard on yourself or down, try making a gratitude list or a bliss list. From super small things, to the big and important things.
You’ve got this girl!